Howdy!

Wow it’s been a while since Pat let me get behind a keyboard, hasn’t it? Well, it’s about time to sort that out… and how! (I am a secret American, it’s true)

Starting with the two days up at Cape Tribulation that Pat and co. went on about 3 weeks ago.

So Who Went?
There were 5 in total, excluding yours truly of course:

Raf
The same dude Pat travelled up the west coast with, spent time in Broome with and managed to watch Norbit and feel dirty, used and miserable just as Pat did. Nuff said, really.

James
He of “That Trip Up The Centre Of Australia With Pat In A 4wd Landcruiser” fame, James had been in Cairns for several weeks, chilling out, sunbathing and drinking (that’s pretty much all that you can do in Cairns from what I gather…). He fancied a bit of a change, I think :-)

Liz
Also a former 4wd-up-the-red-centre team member, Liz had been working in Alice Springs for a while before heading up to Cairns shortly before Pat had arrived. She and James were travelling together for a bit and have just finished hitch hiking all the way from Cairns to Sydney. Mental!

Danni
A friend of Liz’s (who she met on her travels), and also a Dutchie. Danni’s a hairdresser by trade (giving James a free trim whilst in Cairns) and enjoys spending her time attempting to break open coconuts (at least, that’s what we can gather from the amount of time she sat on one beach attempting to smash one open (with little success))

Pat
Some annoying Essex bloke, whose only saving grace is that he carries with him a thing of such importance and excellence that his many flaws can be (just about) ignored. (Oh really? I don’t recall carrying a Nintendo DS around with me… – Pat) No, I mean me you idio… ah right. Sarcasm. Clever.

And Where Is Cape Tribulation?
It’s as described on this map below:

(Oh, that’s *perfect* – Pat) What? (Oh, nothing at all… – Pat)

How Did They Get There And Back?
In this beast:

Oh yes. A Nissan Somethingorother (Pat informs me, with his usual great knowledge of car makes and models), automatic (as all the hire cars Pat’s experienced have been) Power Machine! Unless you’re going up steep hills, in which case it’s more of a “Please Don’t Start Going Backwards” Machine…

Raf and Pat shared driving duties (Pat on the way there, Raf on the way back) and the journey itself was pretty lovely… through some gorgeous scenery between Cairns and Cape Tribulation, on a car ferry across a river, around mountains on very tight bends teetering above looonnnng drops into the jungle and also past some more Quality Australian Signage ™:

What Were The Highlights?

• Swimming At Mossman Gorge
  First stop was at the gorge for a swim – with some “bloody cold” fresh water and a really strong current – which gave Pat and the gang hours (perhaps this is an exaggeration) of fun!
  
  Perhaps the funniest moment of this for me was watching (from the sand banks) Pat attempt to haul himself up onto a rock in the middle of the river… and fail… and fail again… then fall into the river… swim back… almost get on the rock and slip off again… and again… and again… before he finally noticed that the rock he was trying to climb onto was much shallower on the side he wasn’t trying to climb. Funnily enough, he made it up fairly easily then (well, after a couple of failed “half flopped onto rock, half still in the water with nothing to grip onto” attempts). What a genius.

• Admiring The Views At Wonga Beach
  After Mossman the gang fancied checking out a beach… and so pulled in at Wonga. And were “fairly” impressed with the “acceptable” beach they found:
  
  
  
  
  Pretty reasonable, I guess.

• Alexandra Range
  Both driving through this (amoungst the aforementioned windy and slightly-life-threatening-if-you’re-not-careful roads) and stopping at the Alexandra Range Lookout were impressive:
  

  Unfortunately it seems Raf and Pat may have experienced a minor “Husband and Wife” style navigator and driver relationship by this point:
  

• Cape Tribulation Forest Walk
  Once checked in to the pretty damned cool PK’s Hostel Pat and the gang set off on a rainforest walk close by. On the walk they enjoyed the wonderful scents of the local flowers…
  
  …had a close encounter with a “real”, “dangerous” “snake”…
  
  …and treated the rainforest with respect.
  
  (Hey, I’m not the only one who was doing that, boyo: – Pat)
  
  Yeah but I weigh about 150g and you way abou-(OkOkPointProven! – Pat)

• Drawing On The Beach
  In a highly mature fashion, natch:
  

• Having A Hectic Morning
  Following a night in PK’s bar, the team decided to get up nice and early and make the most of the day by setting off in the car so that they could see… all… the… things… …or not:
  
  Yep, swimming around in the PK’s pool was pretty much the order of the morning. Not really a bad thing, to be fair!

• Baywatch!
  Once down to Port Douglass, Danni gave her sunnies to James, then Raf, and for some reason at that point the idea of filming some Baywatch style running seemed like a brilliant idea. Unfortunately (well…) these scenes were filmed on Danni’s camera and as such I don’t have them to show you, however if you can imagine the following you should get the idea:
  • Danni filming
  • James running in slow motion, with Danni’s shades on
  • Pat wailing “Derderderderder… derderderderder… IIII’LLL BE READY! (I’LL BE REAAADY)…” behind the camera
  • Some comedy falling
  • Lots of laughing

  There was also a bit involving Pat running along as “Hasslehoff” and falling over whilst taking his T-Shirt off, but I won’t traumatise you any further with that.

• Oh And Some “Cape Tribulation” Thing
  Almost forgot! We went to Cape Tribulation:
  
  
  
  

Following that it was back to Cairns, whereupon we all went our separate ways – though Pat and Raf rounded off the trip with a visit to the Woolshed for some cheap-as meals (Pat still can’t quite get over the $10 meal-and-a-pint deal).

All in all, an entertaining and laid back couple of days. But don’t get too jealous – my next blog entry will be surrounding a time that was significantly less laid back (albeit only because it involved training to be an Open Water SCUBA Diver…), so that should even things out. Ahem.

Toodles for now!

Squage

P.S. Were There Any Dubious And/Or Odd Photos?
Funny you should ask that:

She’s being a Jellyfish. It’s a perfectly normal photo to take. Definitely.