So that was Melbourne.

Few things about it:

Good

• Public transport: I suspect the Melbourne/Victoria Government once followed the Tony Blair “Education, education, eduction” approach… but with trams. There are loads of trams in Melbourne, taking you to all the areas you need – and – they’re pretty easy to get around on. What’s better is that they’re air conditioned too. Oh and they’re TRAMS! Come on, don’t tell me the idea of going around on trams doesn’t excite you a bit? Just a little? No? Just me? Ah.
• People: Friendly, easy going folk. There’s a wide range of cultures too – a fair few Chinese and Japanese residents, alongside a great deal of travelers. In fact, there’s probably more non-Australians in and around the CBD during the day than there are Australians. Still, everyone seems pretty chilled and, on the whole, pretty happy. It’s a nice city to visit and a great city to work in, I’d say.
• Weather: Well, on the whole. It’s nice and hot, sunny and with just enough wind to stop it being too horrendous. Only the fact that it can be a bit sticky occasionally detracts from the otherwise ace nature of the weather. Oh and also that it chucked it down on Christmas day. And that it attracts loads of bloody flies. In fact, I guess the weather’s not all good. Just ignore this point.
• Sights: From the singing bridge, through the MCG and to the lovely parks around the CBD (Central Business District), there are lots of nice places to see on your travels around Melbourne.
• Lord of the Fries: The best chip shop in the world, mainly because of the awesome sauces on offer and the quantity of chips you get. Sitting at the bottom of Elizabeth Street, just opposite Flinders Street station, it’s a must if you’re out and about on the town late at night. This was one of the contributing factors to me not losing weight in Melbourne.
• Smoothie shops: There are a LOT of smoothie shops in Melbourne. These are all great because a) they’re quite good value, b) the smoothies taste looovely and c) you can convince yourself (pretty legitimately for a change) that you’re being healthy by drinking stuff that tastes bloody good.
• Internet cafes: Aside from the crap hostel ones these are generally fast, good value and allow you to download such things as Paint Shop Pro and Limewire (not that, er, I used Limewire at all. Because that would be bad. Yes.) without breaking a sweat (aside from emotional sweat through the fear of being caught illegally downloading music. Which I didn’t do. No. So that was fine. Yes.)
• Socialising: Not so much in the CBD, but places like Fitzroy are chockablock with pretty, good value cafes and bars, always bustling with people and a great place to hang out / grab some food / have a night out.
• New Year Celebrations: Huuge fireworks display, loads and loads of cheery revelers out and about and a really great feeling of fun throughout the city. They know how to celebrate New Year in Melbourne.

Bad

• Internet cafes: Through being good and allowing lots of things to be done, these ended up causing several hours on certain days being totally wasted. These hours could’ve been better spent in a pub. Actually, maybe that was a good thing…
• Flies: FUCKING flies. Everywhere you go, they’re there. And they don’t leave you alone. For some reason, a long time ago I had the romantic notion that flies had a “home”. A territory, if you like. But no. They follow you for MILES. And sorry, but what is the POINT in them anyway? They buzz around you, sit on you and then fly off. GAAAAH!
• TV: Advert-ridden, US sitcom filled tosh. Honestly, it’s worse than the US telly I’ve seen. The adverts seem to be every 5 minutes and it’s the same damned ads every break. My particular “favourites” were the Optus ad – which featured lots of animals in the outback “singing” (hooray for computer generated mouth movement) Give Me The Simple Life for about 30 seconds – and one for a bargain warehouse place – which involved an Aussie bloke SHOUTING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU CAN BUY FOR A REDUCED-YES A REDUCED PRICE at 200kmph for 30 seconds. It felt akin to having your head beaten in by a lump hammer for half a minute.
• Christmas Celebrations: I’m guessing Christmas celebrations in Melbourne happen at home and not out in the bars and clubs, because the most Christmassy thing I heard all night in the pubs was a Christmas Mix of “Put Your Hands Up For Detroit”. By “Christmas Mix”, I mean a version of the song with the DJ mumbling something about it being Christmas day over the start. Ho ho bloody ho!
• Flies: Did I mention these were annoying?

Ugly

• Not many: There are a LOT of attractive people in Melbourne.

Ooh yeah, and about the hostels…

• Freeman Lodge: Really nice – the owner’s really friendly, the rooms are comfy and the kitchen, whilst small, has all you could ask for. It’s rather quiet, mind, and a bit of a walk from town, so Chris and I moved to the hostel “Hotel BakPak” after a couple of weeks to mingle a bit more with other travelers.
• Hotel BakPak (or Hotel Discovery as I think they’re renaming themselves (each day I was there they seemed to replace another BakPak sign/poster with a Hotel Discovery one… but without anyone actually mentioning anything)): Not so good. Despite the cheapness of rooms it’s a bit basic, feels run down, the kitchen is fully crap and the place is so understaffed that you have to wait bloody ages to check in/out, find info, book anything, get a replacement room card (you tend to need to at least every day or so as they inexplicably decide to stop working rather often)… or get a drink in their bar. Oh, AND you have to hand in your passport/drivers’ license in order to get your room access card. Secure! Ok, so maybe I’m being harsh – after all it’s situated at the top of the CBD and the place does have a rooftop garden, which is awesome to chill out in – but frankly I’d rather stay somewhere that felt a bit friendlier and well run.
• Greenhouse Backpackers: Slap bang in the CBD, it’s recommended by all who go there. I didn’t go there. Why’m I personally recommending this then? Because they made me feel Christmassy on Christmas day (yep, this was the TV Lounge I watched Only Fools and Horses in). That’s enough for me :-)

Anyway, enough waffling… I’m off to the Museum of Sydney with Jersey!

Toodles,

Pat