Howdy!

Squage here, just about recovered from the ordeal of traveling in a ruck sack around a fair portion of the southern hemisphere and ready to let you know about a new and exciting drink that Pat and his brother discovered last weekend: Off Your Face Juice.

“What’s Off Your Face Juice?” you rightly ask. Well, allow me to explain. It’s vodka with skittles in. You could be forgiven for assuming such a thing would be called “Skittles Vodka”, but frankly that doesn’t describe its power quite enough. Here’s a guide for how to make your own Off Your Face Juice:

1. Get some vodka
2. Pour around 400ml of it into a 600ml empty water bottle
3. Pour the majority of a family pack of Skittles into the water bottle:
   
4. Allow to settle for 5 minutes:
   
5. Shake the bottle occasionally over a few hours
6. Add a label (optional, but recommended for full excellence):
   

Your delicious Off Your Face Juice is now ready for your enjoyment!

WARNING: Off Your Face Juice may cause an otherwise sensible evening to turn into a mostly-forgotten drunken mess and may lead to the entirety of your next day being written off. Consumption of Off Your Face Juice is not recommended if you don’t want to wake up on your sofa at 9am feeling like your stomach’s on spin cycle and your head had been smashed into by a truck. In fact, it’s probably just best not to make it in the first place. Just have a smoothie or something instead, it’ll taste better and you’ll not feel like you’re about to die, vomit or vomit to death.

Toodles for now,

Squage