0 Days: PHONE RANT

So, I book my broadband connection in early September. They tell me a BT engineer can only arrive on the 28th at the earliest. I realise last week that the 28th is an induction/course briefing day. That’s my fault. I should’ve realised this a week before. So I phone this morning.

I’m now getting a phone line installed on the 18th of October. I’ll get broadband by the end of October.

About 6 weeks after moving in.

I’m fuming: largely at myself for leaving phoning PlusNet to rearrange, as I knew this’d happen. I’m also pissed off at BT for their deliberate long lead times, at PlusNet for the unapologetic nature of the call staff and their text message telling me it’ll cost £50 if I have to rearrange again. (£50, f**kin’ hell…)

Til then, I have 500MB a month with Orange.

500MB.

That’s not really enough.

So… I phone Orange. To paraphrase:

• Me: “Please can I have some more bandwidth this month?”
• Them: “Sure! There’s a 500MB package you can have: £5 for 30 days!”
• “Great, I’ll take that.”
• “OK, we’ll have to remove your free 500MB add-on to apply it”
• “Sorry, you’re saying I have to remove the 500MB I get for free, and replace it with an identical add-on for £5?”
• “Yes”
• “Is there a way I can have more than 500MB, oh and preferably not pay for what I’m already getting for free?”
• “Er, we can move you to a different talk plan”
• “I only want this for a month, and I’m happy with my talk plan. Can you not add an *additional* 500MB onto my account?”
• “Er… do you have a dongle or another phone you can use?”
• “No.”
• “Oh, sorry”
• “Bye”

Hey, Orange. Orange! Over here… come here… that’s it… now, put your ear to my mouth… go on, it’ll be fine… that’s it… there you go… ok… so… here’s the thing…YOU ARE F***ING TERRIBLE.

Ahem.

I’m off to enroll at Uni. And find some cafes with free WiFi.

Pat [Insert angry animated emoticon thing here]