Yesterday, whilst packing away some bits in the under stairs cupboard, I bumped my head on the low ceiling. It hurt, I think it’s fair to say, in a style akin to that of an illegitimate child. However, I figured that no real harm was done.

Today I’m not so sure. Today, I’ve managed to:

• Add 80 to 50 to get 140
• Get pole dancing and podium dancing mixed up (bit of a faux pas when talking to someone about their podium dancing)
• Indicate early to turn into my cul-de-sac, as there was a cat in the road
• Watch over 15 minutes of Michael Macintyre without throwing up or punching someone.

The last one was only achieved by doing occasional impressions of the “Filmed infront of a live ostrich” ostrich from that Family Guy episode.

If you know what I’m talking about, you’ll see how that helped. Oh, and I was with other people. I don’t do impressions of ostriches when on my own. At least, not today. Maybe that’ll be tomorrow’s clue that I’m diving towards insanity.

Still, at least my short term memory’s not been affected. That, and the fact that my shor… and so on. I can’t quite bring myself to do that one :-)

Have a good evening, you!

Pat

Days without alcohol: 9
Feeling: Amused, tired and a bit sore on the bonce still
Song in head: This song (having watched Kill Bill tonight at Rob’s)

Ah, wow. After a bad night’s sleep I’m in the parfect frame of mind to understand exactly what being totally shattered does to me, my mood, my feelings of being able to do anything with life, etc.

I could therefore write something good about this at this point, maybe write some kinda clever song lyrics about it- and how it all drives procrastination/stagnation etc.

But I’m too tired to articulate it.

Bugger.

Pat

Days without Alcohol: 8
Feeling: Shattered (should’ve brought cushions onto floor to sleep last night) and wishing he could just press “stop” on things and take a break for 3 months
Song In Head: n/a

Afternoon you!

How’re you today? Really? Well, it is the weekend I suppose. Me? Yeah not bad thanks. Looking forward to the BBQ this afternoon at Gary and Sarah’s house in Colchester. Gonna be a challenge for me to get through without any alcohol, as there’s a lot of it here for the guests and, well, this is the first Saturday without alcohol for me. Here goes nothing.

Something that Mr James Barry “off of work” showed me yesterday is truly awesome. A bit shocking, but awesome. Watch this:

Spider

It’s hard to watch it the second time. But still ace. Awesome work from these guys!

Right, I’m off to drink some… soft drinks. Blimey.

Toodles,

Pat

Days without Alcohol: 7
Feeling: Pretty good actually, following not waking up til 11:45am… and having NO hangover (hope you can say the same, Jimbo ;-) )
Song in Head: Doves – Kingdom of Rust

…9 days ago marked the 2 year anniversary of me coming back from Oz.

2 YEARS. It’s a crazy amount of time. On one hand it feels like it can’t be that long, but then I think back to the days hiking up mountains in the morning sun, taking in breathtaking views, through careering at nigh-on terminal velocity towards the earth, to hanging out with my traveling buddies in the many bars and hostels we visited, it seems like a different life.

Was that life not real? Is the working office life how reality actually is?

Or is it the other way round?

I’m sure I knew this at one point around about 2 years ago…

Pat

Days without Alcohol: 6
Mood: Hopeful, and generally ok.
Song in Head: Coldplay – Cemeteries of London

Captain’s log supplementary:

Before going to sleep, Ensign McGibbon provided me with something wonderful to make even the most miserable, self-hating person truly love themself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o50_ZlMnjqY

I hope it’s real. I really, really do.

Kirk out.

P.S. Thanks Gib, I’ve watched this about 5 times in the past 5 minutes :-)

Being ill sucks. Particularly when you’re at work.

I really should’ve stayed at home, but I only started feeling ill once in the office. And once you’re there, well, you might aswell stay.

If you’re an idiot.

HELLO! I’m Pat!

Right, anyway, back to some wrapping up warm…

Byeeee,

Pat

Days without alcohol: 4
Mood: Under the weather
Tune in Head: Yves Larock – Rise Up (Radio Edit. Yep, it’s a very specific mix that’s stuck in my head, ok?)

Hiya!

Well, day 3 into my Alcohol Fast and I must say it’s feeling… well, a bit like most weeks, really, given that I don’t usually drink on a Monday or Sunday. To be honest, I might save the no-alcohol updates til the weekend, as (as Mr Hey rightly points out) that’ll be the real test.

That said, I could probably do with a beer right now. Why? Because it’s Mid Year Appraisal Time at work!

Woohoo! Never before has all the hassle of getting an appraisal done been married so well to a totally meaningless end result.

That’s right, even if we wrote “I AM A FISH” 100 times on the mid-term, it really makes no difference to pay or promotion prospects from what I can gather. So long as I hand in a half-decent appraisal form at the end of the year, I’ll still get judged reasonably. Provided I don’t write “Wrote a piss take mid year appraisal” as one of my 2009 Achievements.

Alas, I don’t quite have the guts to do it. What I might put in my “room for improvement” section is “Stop being all mouth no trousers”.

On a tangent, that phrase has never made sense to me: surely someone who’s being very lippy AND has no trousers on is clearly pretty confident, and shouldn’t be mocked. They should be downright feared.

Anyway, I’d best stop rambling on and go to work to write my mid-year. You know what? I bet I’ll try to make it great too. I’m rubbish at subversion.

Pat

Days without Alcohol: 3 (count them)
Mood: Excited, Yet Bored. How the hell is that even possible?
Tune Up My Head: The Postal Service – Brand New Colony

P.S. for not-getting-sacked reasons, I would like to state that I appreciate the mid year appraisal is useful for giving an individual the opportunity to improve on any weaknesses prior to the actually-going-towards-your-performance-record end-of-year appraisal. This blog post is written purely “tongue in cheek”, ok?
P.P.S. For not-ruining-the-above-blog-post reasons, I would like you to ignore the “P.S.” above. Thanks.

This is something that comes around once in a blue moon for me: a point where I’ve basically had enough with alcohol – the good points associated with it are eclipsed by the bad ones.

1. I’ve gotta do something about my steamrollering into looking like the, uh, big boned Scottish gentlemen played by Mike Myers (no, not Shrek – the other Scottish gent Myers has played. I’m not concerned about my skin being green. That’s fine). Cutting alcohol out is going to be a major step for that.
2. I’m sick of feeling crappy for at least a day after a big sesh
3. I haven’t got the willpower to “only have a couple”
4. I don’t like not being able to remember what I’ve said or done the night before

So, this is day 1. Well, day 2 I guess, but yesterday I was majorly hungover, so I’d argue it doesn’t really count.

Here goes (drinking) nothing!

Pat

Mood: Fed up with life, but hopeful
Song In Head: [nothing]

Two things happened last night:

1. I saw this man in the streets of North London:

   

   (Here he is talking to one of the many random people he decides to start talking to in the middle of the street, as they desperately try to make eye contact with any other stranger in order to get away. Oh, and when I’d first seen him he was standing in the sun, on his own at the side of the road. In just his black y-fronts. “Oh, London…”)

2. I met up with Sarah Schloo, one of the New Zealand Kiwi Experience groovy people, last night in London for a most amusing evening (ah, those Adam and Joe X podcasts, Sarah, they really can’t be beaten). As part of this, Sarah made me aware of a very amusing site:

   Garfield Minus Garfield

   It’s a whole load of Garfield comics – without (as the title suggests) Garfield. Essentially it’s a load of comics featuring John looking like a full on mental. It’s utterly brilliant! Go there now!

In a podcast-related note, check out the Collings and Herrin podcast (Andrew “Collings” Collins and Richard “Herrin” Herring). It’s awesome. And fully wrong.

That is all.

Bye!

Pat

Feeling: Tired
Song in my head: Kate Walsh – Your Song

Hey you! Yes, you! Fancy listening to two hours of party tunes tomorrow, to make your Sunday evening start on a high?

You do? Excellent! Because that’s what’ll be happening on Squage Radio!

Here are the details:

Show: SQUAGE PARTY!
Date: Sunday 17th February 2008
Time: 6pm – 8pm (GMT)
Direct Link: https://www.squage.com:8000/squage.mp3 (Available from 5:55pm)

An alternative direct link is available here if you have issues playing the stream the normal link (Winamp, for example, doesn’t like streaming from the normal link).

Requests are, as always, welcome – either email me (pat at squage dot com) or use MSN if you know my details :-)

Pat